20 August 2009

A few weeks ago, I interviewed at the university for a part time job. My interviewer told me about a full time opportunity also at the university. He said he would recommend me for that job as well. In the PT interview, I was cool and collected. I felt extremely confident and I went into the interview already sure I would land the job - and I did! I was elated at my newfound confidence. I got a call the same day offering the job.

Well, after a lot of soul searching and general angst, I made the decision to turn down the job in hopes I would land the full time job. This job is my ideal! What's more, I would actually be able to use my degree for something related to my degree! Research and writing! I had several "big dogs" on campus call and recommend me to the director. I wrote the most awesome cover letter I've ever written, explaining my love of the Delta and Google and the written words with perfect eloquence. The deadline for applications passed, and I received no call. I really started to panic, convinced I had made a hasty, poorly planned decision.

However, one full week later, on Tuesday, I was asked to come interview. So yesterday at 1:00, I headed over, dressed to impressed. I have been so worried about the outcome of my decision that I was not as prepared as I could have been. It was a four person panel, and I was extremely nervous. I was sweating and my mouth was dry. It was just awful. I felt like I had never interviewed for a job before. All the confidence I had with the PT job was out the window. I felt juvenile and foolish.

I am convinced my performance was so shoddy I have lost the job for myself.

I am extremely discouraged, and hope that the good folks at the library can see through my anxiety.